Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!! I thought I'd share some facts and some jokes with you. Some of these jokes are really bad, but they will bring a smile to your face!
1. A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
2. What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
3. The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
4. What key has legs and can't open doors? A TurKEY.
5.If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
6. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
7. Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use such FOWL language
8. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock
9. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
10. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
11. What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
12. Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it
13. How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore
1. Turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining.
2. The first Thanksgiving celebration lasted three days.
3. Abraham Lincoln issued a 'Thanksgiving Proclamation' on third October 1863 and officially set aside the last Thursday of November as the national day for Thanksgiving. Whereas earlier the presidents used to make an annual proclamation to specify the day when Thanksgiving was to be held.
4. President Franklin D. Roosevelt restored Thursday before last of November as Thanksgiving Day in the year 1939. He did so to make the Christmas shopping season longer and thus stimulate the economy of the state.
5. Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird of the United States. But it was Thomas Jefferson who opposed him. It is believed that Franklin then named the male turkey as 'tom' to spite Jefferson.
6. Three towns in the U.S. take their name from the traditional Thanksgiving bird, including Turkey, Texas (pop. 465); Turkey Creek, Louisiana (pop. 363); and Turkey, North Carolina (pop. 270).
7. Americans eat 535 million pounds of turkey on Thanksgiving.
8. Only male (tom) turkeys gobble. Females make a clicking noise. The famous gobble is actually a seasonal mating call.
9. The heaviest turkey ever raised weighed in at 86 pounds.
10. The average age of the Mayflower passenger was 32. The oldest Mayflower passenger was 64.
11. The average person consumes 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving Day.
12. Each year, Butterball L.L.C. puts on Butterball University -- this year, five days of training for newcomers to the hot line that answers 12,000 calls on Thanksgiving Day alone.
Dozens of 3-inch-thick blue binders await trainees, all of whom are armed with degrees in nutrition, food science, or home economics. The binders are so stuffed with turkey information they weighed nearly as much as the bird itself.
Through the nearly three decades the Turkey-Talk Line has been around, thousands of people have called in frantic moments to ask its experts everything. These binders anticipate it all: cooking temperatures, thawing techniques, cooking times, meat thermometers, carving knives, turkey sizes, presentation tips, food safety concerns and the eternal question of how much stuffing is too much. Fifty-five operators are on hand as the hot line receives 100,000 calls.